Valentines

Valentines

Who am I without them?

There’s this rawness that happens to people when they become parents. Emotions live on the surface: yours and your child’s. It’s all about immediacy. You spend about 18 years—give or take—showing your offspring a good time with holidays, birthdays, vacations, play dates and field trips. You worry, push and prod. You shop, cook and nurture. Just being at home can be joyous. My daughters and I danced and laughed and sang together, a lot. It was just the three of us for many years so we made our own fun, but we loved it when the rest of my family was around, or with their father’s family. His beloved mother was a wonderful cook and dinner party organizer. Traditions abound in both our families. And when the kids were all young it was wonderful.

We left the baggage at the door and lived happily with our kids –who needed us—rambling around at our feet, and then knees. Then they became teenagers. But they were still there. At last they are out of the house, in college or off on another growth oriented activity (we hope), and then they are on to their own lives.

And then we are alone again.

A friend is newly pregnant and watching her going through all the early dreads and hopes, I am taken back to those days in a flash: The nausea, the light headed-ness; the fear, the hunger, and the bizarre need to wear sweatpants even before showing. And let us not forget the joy of those fashion-less hand-me-down blousy tops; sadly this was before all the chic designs now available. But I was whole, and solid. Like I’d been meant for this all my crazy, unhinged life.

I feel weightless without my children now, as if I could float into oblivion. I always knew they’d grounded me, both in the present and in my life. They still give my life meaning. And even though, due to our high tech lives, we are able to keep in really good contact, I miss them horribly.

Stolen recipe

Lovage, Tomato and Cheese Tart

Lovage is a herb with a long culinary history. It was much used by the Romans and has inspired many a cook to plan his meals long before he needed to. A famous Roman saying was 'first pound pepper and lovage', rather like the Elizabethan cook's saying 'first take six swans', and lovage appears in many old Roman recipes. As its name indicates, lovage was often used in classical and medieval times as a love potion but was also used as a common and valued cooking ingredient. Lovage is used much less today, although it is an attractive and easy herb to grow. It has a distinctive and strong taste, so you don't need much of it, and it can be used in the same way as celery. If, as is likely, you do not have a clump of young lovage in your herb garden, and can't get hold of any, then use celery (but you will need to use a slightly larger amount of celery and cook the tart for a little longer). ingredients serves 4 - 6 175 g (6 oz) plain shortcrust pastry 25 g (1 oz) unsalted butter 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 onions, finely chopped 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh Lovage (only the young green leaves) or 4 small stalks celery, finely chopped 3 eggs 300 ml (1/2 pint) double cream salt and freshly ground black pepper 4 ripe tomatoes, skinned and finely chopped (throw away excess liquid) 115 g (4 oz) mature Cheddar cheese, grated method 1. Line a shallow 23cm (9 in) tart tin with the pastry and pre-bake or bake blind. 2. Pre-heat the oven to 190‚°C (375‚°F) Gas 5. 3. Melt the butter and olive oil in a heavy-bottomed frying pan. Add the onion and garlic and fry for 2 minutes, stirring. Turn the heat down to very low, put the lid on and gently cook for up to 10 minutes or until the onion is soft and beginning to look golden, stirring occasionally. 4. Add the lovage and stir for 1 minute (if you are using celery, replace the lid and cook on the very low heat for a further 5 minutes). Remove the pan from the heat and set aside. 5. Put the eggs in a bowl and beat lightly. Add the cream and beat for a few seconds, then add salt and pepper to taste. 6. Drain as much juice from the tomatoes as possible and add them, together with the lovage mixture and three-quarters of the cheese, to the egg mixture. Stir, then spoon the mixture into the pre-baked pastry case. 7. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top of the tart and bake in the oven for 30 minutes or until the cheese is bubbling brown and the filling looks set. 8. Serve warm

Horse Power - Sun Valley Magazine - Winter 2010 - Sun Valley, Idaho

Horse Power - Sun Valley Magazine - Winter 2010 - Sun Valley, Idaho

The Age of Salander - The Barnes & Noble Review

The Age of Salander - The Barnes & Noble Review

This Is Just To Say

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams
I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold

Acquisitions at Sundance

The heads of Exclusive Media’s Newmarket Films has acquired U.S. rights to the Sundance favorite, "Hesher," directed by Spencer Susser and starring Joseph Gordon Levitt and Natalie Portman.  The seven figure deal was reached early this morning following an extremely successful screening in Salt Lake City last night.

Since premiering at the festival last Friday, the film has picked up momentum and sites such as Aint it Cool  News have lauded the film as one of the best of the festival. Susser, was recently named one of Variety magazine's Ten Directors to Watch.

In other news, Joel Schumachers' "12" about the life of poor little-rich kids in Manhattan, and "The Kids Are All Right" was acquired by Hanover. 

The State of the Union’s Horses : The Humane Society of the United States

The State of the Union’s Horses : The Humane Society of the United States

On the road at Sundance Film Festival

At Sundance Film Festival, in Park City, Utah the word, though hardly the spirit is “Rebel.” It seems founder Robert Redford wanted the festival to get back to its slightly hippie, seat of your pants, mountain-ski week roots for those in the business. No longer called SHOW business, the film industry is heavily populated with the fashionable, the rich, the talented, and the blessed among us. And it’s kind of buggin' Bob.

Reflecting the recession, the lay-offs and two wars, this season is a dark one. After three movies of insistent gloom and misery, I longed to find a cheery comedy. Alas, the entire festival’s theme negates that. Rebellion. Say what? This is Park City not Uzbekistan. There’s nothing much to rebel against since no one listens anyhow. Dissent is considered un-American these days. Nevertheless, the flicks at this festival seemed joined at the hip of intensity.

My first day was a day of very disturbed men, on screen. Reckless, unhappy, misguided, sexy, lonely, bewildered, beloved, real men and boys. If that turns you on proceed. Melbourne, Australia is one of those places in which it just sounds good to visit or live. I’ve never heard of a Melbourne such as the one depicted in director David Michod’s “Animal Kingdom.” Frightening, industrial and corrupt are among the descriptions that come to mind.

Sunny but dirty, dry and hot, the characters live in a sweaty hierarchy of their own making. The family at the center of the saga display the the worst mix of bumbling and dangerous. The role of the king of the tribe is in constant flux as one and then another family member comes head to head with the police, or each other. Michod said in his introduction that the morning is an odd time to see a movie--this one in particular. He was right. But in the long run, it's not the men who rule. It is one very odd lioness of a mother. Never overlook la femme.

Mogul Harvey Wienstein stood at the exit checking everyone’s faces for …that je ne sais quoi that can turn into a potential distribution deal. I tried to smile but found I was too disturbed. I’d venture to say Michod will be much heard of in the future.

A bit later I hoofed my way through the slush to a film at the Raquet Club accompanied by the Canadian producer of “The Last Train Home,” a documentary about the practice of only allowing Chinese factory workers to go home for Chinese New Years once a year, by train, with about 200 million others.

My next appointment was with “The Dry Land,” a flick that brings the tragedy of war right to our doorstep. Produced by Boise-based film producer Heather Rae, who in 2009 won Sundance with “Frozen River,” it concerns James—Ryan O’Nan—who returns from a tour of duty in Iraq to his small town in Texas.

At first he’s right on, quiet but loving to his wife, his best friend, his dog. The façade doesn’t take long to crack. O’Nan gives James an abyss-tottering sensitivity that is so sad, and so frightening it’s hard to take your eyes off him. And yet the other performances are equally strong in particular America Ferrara as James’ young wife, and as a troop buddy Wilmer Valderramma (yes, that guy from "That '70s Show"). But truly it's O'Nan's taut performance that holds the movie together.

So who is the rebel? It may be the few women directors like Floria Sigismondi, ("The Runaways") and Nicole Holofcener ("Please Give") who show up with work that highlights their unique visions every year despite the surfeit of young male loopers.

More news comes about deals actually made.

The first blockbuster sale made was for claustrophobic thriller "Buried." Lionsgate spent about $3.2 million for the distribution rights, beating out several other interested studios.
The $3 million movie by Spanish director Rodrigo Cortes takes place entirely inside a coffin, in which where a civilian truck driver played by Ryan Reynolds, is buried, somewhere in Iraq with only a cell phone and a lighter.

Check back for more on the festival in later post

Menninger wisdom

Found this on a book mark in my great-grandmother, Pauline Lowenstein Strauss' scrapbook, dated 1886:

The Criteria of Emotional Maturity

1. the ability to deal constructively with reality.
2. The capacity to adapt to change.
3. A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties.
4. the capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.
5. The capacity to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness.
6. The capacity to sublimate, to direct one's instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets.
7. The capacity to love."

Bingo!

These words were those of Dr. William Menninger, as in the clinic.

Factoid

Bob Dylan's first performance in New York at the Folk Centre was on my fourth birthday.

One of the great tunes

Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat

by Bob Dylan

Well, I see you got your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat
Yes, I see you got your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat
Well, you must tell me, baby
How your head feels under somethin' like that
Under your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Well, you look so pretty in it
Honey, can I jump on it sometime?
Yes, I just wanna see
If it's really that expensive kind
You know it balances on your head
Just like a mattress balances
On a bottle of wine
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Well, if you wanna see the sun rise
Honey, I know where
We'll go out and see it sometime
We'll both just sit there and stare
Me with my belt
Wrapped around my head
And you just sittin' there
In your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Well, I asked the doctor if I could see you
It's bad for your health, he said
Yes, I disobeyed his orders
I came to see you
But I found him there instead
You know, I don't mind him cheatin' on me
But I sure wish he'd take that off his head
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Well, I see you got a new boyfriend
You know, I never seen him before
Well, I saw him
Makin' love to you
You forgot to close the garage door
You might think he loves you for your money
But I know what he really loves you for
It's your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Copyright ©1966; renewed 1994 Dwarf Music

Rumi: Water and the Moon

There is a path from me to you
That I am constantly looking for,
So I try to keep clear and still
As the water does with the moon.

--Rumi

elsewhere

Check out my blog for events, arts, music and other cool bits of life's lint.

http://www.chickwithaview.com

Onward and outward

Life is improving daily. Not only is it becoming almost springlike here, but I have an exciting new prospect. My new blog, Chick With A View, is keeping me busy writing about the same things I wrote about for the newspaper which two weeks ago ignominiously decided to part ways with me.

And so I am living life on the edge, and looking for freelance opportunities. 

Please help yourself to the new blog whenever you feel the need. 

Cheers!

Fading away

I am at home on vacation. It’s not a stay-cation, in the verbiage of the day, which implies hikes, skiing, eating out and good times, but an imposed vacation. I have been laid off and for the first time in nearly 10 years I’m unemployed and have nowhere to be everyday.

I am sick. My illness makes me stay in bed longer, to read on the couch for long periods with tea at my side, but my mind wanders. I get up and flit around my house. Fitfully, I tidy and clean. I put in laundry and think I should vacuum the dog hair-littered carpet.

Outside snow is falling, first in large clumps then sideways as the wind picks up. Then the sun comes out and the snow glistens beautifully. I feel guilty because I don’t have the strength to walk the dogs. But soon, the snow is back, blowing with gusto around the gray-palette exterior.

I think about writing, but feel depleted. All that comes to mind is how hard I worked and defended my place of employment. How it defined who I was in the community. How by not working I have lost my way. That all the things I covered and attended for a decade has vaporized. More correctly it is I who has vaporized and disappeared and someone else will fill my empty space as though I was never there.

Then I take my husband’s computer onto my lap and turn it on. I play with the icons. Oh look, he has something I’ve never seen: “Photobooth.” My image appears on the computer screen. But my God, I look like hell. Old, tired and sick. Sallow and colorless like the outdoors. I run into the bathroom and put makeup on, and do something to my hair. This all reminds me I must find someone to cut my hair, something new and clever, something to help me forge ahead in my new life.

I go back to the computer and try again. I still look like shit, but at least it’s not quite as miserable. Better but still, my neck has wrinkles, my eyes are puffy, my skin is … not so young. Then it hit me. Not only did I leave the place I’d spent the majority of my life this past turbulent and event filled decade, but my youth faded while I was there.

It is my youth for which I mourn, that and a steady paycheck, of course.

National Cowboy Poetry Gathering

Friday, February 6, 2009

How to get in trouble in a Western town

---

Kraig Sundberg, a dance teacher from Bellevue, taught two step and pony swing with Nancy Kern of Hailey at the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering Photo by Dana DuGan

Me and a friend was meeting 'nother gal

Headed to Elko, heard Asleep at the Wheel,

Got a room at the Stockman with our pal.

Heard right fine music, and the poetry spiel.

Rodney recited, Corb sang 'bout a cowboy's life.

Tom Russell crooned, brought his 21-year-old wife.

You got to dance with who brung you

Sunny and warm under blue Nevada sky,

Wylie yodeled and Ian Tyson was fly

Baxter Black rode on back, everyone a waitin'.

as cowboy poets celebrated 25 years of recitating.

Boy howdy, if it's trouble you're a wantin',

All you have ta do is go for the swing.

If you're in a small Western town

Find dance teachers who'll spin you 'round.

Sayin' 'Girls are always right, men go left.'

We two-stepped along feeling perdy deft.

You got to swing with who swung you

Nary a horse in sight but legs were all bowed.

At the Folklife Center, heavy spurs clinked

while hats, buckles with turq-eyes glowed

and cowboys graciously bought all the drinks.

Between grass and sky, and not a blame sight

We were treated to dances all the dern night.

Liberal slots and art galleries, a cowgirl went goth.

We spun on the dance floor cutting a swath

with one graceful dude in a shocking toupeé

who we saw the next mornin' in Joe Cowboy's café.

Dance with who brung you to the bash

If your feet are right under you, life's easier to plum

Though harder if you dance to your own drum.

Did I mention the music of the cowboy Corb Lund?

And you best believe we had a lot of fun.

—Isadora Foe

Lyrics by Asleep at the Wheel

Sundance trims its sails but still rocks

Sundance trims its sails but still rocks

---

By DANA DUGAN
Express Staff Writer

Chad and Jeremy played in the ASCAP Music Café in Park City, Utah, Saturday, Jan. 17. Chad Stuart lives in Hailey.

It's a sad state of affairs when the only celebrity you catch sight of at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, is Tom Arnold. He was entering an SUV, with far too much product in his hair, while waving to fans on the sidewalk. One of them actually said, "Keep it real, Tom," without a trace of irony.

Sundance is to the film industry what Fashion Week is to designers and thin, rich women and what South by Southwest is to music. It's the place where deals are made for distribution for independently made movies. Some of these movies go straight to video, others become hits and quite a few are missed entirely.

Not only moviemakers and starlets attend however. States do their best to entice filmmakers to make their flick in their state. Many states have incentives that are highly attractive to those overseeing the budgets. For the first time, the Idaho Film Commission had representation, in Peg Owens and Kathleen Haase. They threw a party in an art gallery along with representatives from South Dakota, Wyoming and the Bozeman Chamber of Commerce to attract filmmakers to their states.

But what really makes the event such a draw is the pure festive nature of it all. The festival began a week ago and will continue through Saturday. Once again, Park City's Main Street overflowed with people parading up and down the hill, checking each other out, snapping pictures and talking on their Blackberries. Paparazzi and fur-wearing folks add to the carnival-like atmosphere. One woman wore her long fur with clear high heels (in the snow!) that flashed with each prancing step. The annual PETA anti-fur protest created total havoc since those wearing fur were forced to cross the street to avoid them. It was like a large animal migration.

Parties are held virtually every night of the two-week festival, and once again the three-story Queer Lounge, held the first weekend, proved to be lively and entertaining.

And of course, though they might try to stay undercover, a bunch of name actors do show up. Many jetted out for the inauguration in Washington, D.C., only to return a day later.

"The heart of this is the talent, but the talent who show up are no-talent clowns," Garret Blommquist of Salt Lake City vented about the dearth of "A" list actors. "The people who show are like Paris Hilton. They show up just to be seen."

However, among those attending this year were Andie MacDowell, Kevin Bacon, Nick Cannon, Denise Richards, Anne Heche, Benjamin and Talisa (Soto) Bratt, Peter Gallagher, Kyle Maclachlan, James Wood, Hugh Dancy, Eliza Dushku, Jim Carrey, Mo'Nique, Zooey Deschanel, Emma Roberts, Jill Hennessy, Amy Poehler, Parker Posey, Slash and, of course, Sundance founder Robert Redford. They all appeared in a feature film or documentary that was being screened.

However, it is the directors and producers who are the most common sight, (if we only recognized them). This is where their life's work appears for the first time and they are looking for studios to spend money on their work.

News of sales began to filter out this week: Max Mayer's "Adam," purchased by Fox Searchlight, stars Rose Byrne and Hugh Dancy in a New York romance. "An Education," a period coming-of-age story directed by Lone Scherfig and written by Nick Hornby, sold to Sony Pictures Classics. Magnolia Pictures purchased the comedy "Humpday" by Seattle-based director Lynn Shelton. And Lionsgate picked up "The Winning Season," about a basketball team starring Sam Rockwell.

Alexis Dos Santos' "Unmade Beds" was one of the best London squatter movies that I've ever personally seen, and the documentary "Kimjongilia" was a frightening and important look into the horrors of North Korea. Speaking of horrors, Anna Wintour, the powerful editor of Vogue magazine, was on display in another documentary, "The September Issue." Other films getting strong word of mouth were the Mexican entries "Sin Nombre" and "Rudo and Cursi," and writer-director Sophie Barthes' metaphysical comedy "Cold Souls," starring Paul Giamatti.

Be on the lookout later this year for these titles.

Meanwhile, an interesting aspect to the event, just as with big events here in Sun Valley, is how the locals handle the crowds and the glitz.

"People come to see the movies but it's the local color that's cool," said Justin Tregoric, a former Wood River Valley resident.

After coping with a long and unruly line at the No Name Saloon, a local named Chris "Catfish" White looked at an incoming visitor and crowed over the crowd, "You come in here, you're going deep." Challenge or threat?

The rumor of semi-public sex in a store window spread up and down Main Street. Was it performance art or just an oops? We never found out.

Despite the crowds on Main Street and at every screening, Sundance was trimmed down. Corporate rentals for parties on Main Street were down by almost half from last year, according to the Park Record newspaper, and there was less superfluous marketing. Street giveaways, once ubiquitous, were sparse, but that actually might be a good thing.

"It reduces the noise and distractions," said Angie Shupe, a drafter and designer from Salt Lake City, who works in Park City.

But the locals couldn't help themselves. They bellied up to their local bars and held tight.

"People keep asking each other, 'What are you doing here?'" said a guy simply known as Social Dave.

25 random thoughts

1. I am a better cook than some people might think. 2. My girls and my mother are my best friends: I never thought I'd say that. 3. My best friends--Amy and Phil--remain my best friends after 30 years. 4. I use the term 'best friends' rampantly but not randomly. 5. I wish I could sing (in tune). 6. My work is satisfying; I'm exhausted. 7. I will live elsewhere 8. My family is dysfunctionally wonderful. 9. Husband may be really nice; but it's always a mystery what's going on there. 10. I miss massive cultural neuron firings 11. I am a hippie at heart . 12. I hate big box, low class stores; they make me ill. 13. Aging sucks. 14. My biggest pet peeve is when people endlessly talk about themselves; like this. 15. I don't practice, which may explain why I'm not that good at things . 16. I wish I had had more children to give them all the cool names I think of. 17. I like reading almost more than anything. 18. Except for music, theatre, great movies and being on the sea (river, lake). 19. I hate the Hollywood of today but love the old Hollywood. 20. I am writing two books, one is nonfiction about divorce. The other isn't. 21. I appreciate honesty, humor, charm and intelligence above all else. 22. I'd rather be laughing. 23. Wine is the friend I never want to lose through carelessness. 24. My French and Italian will improve. 25. Being alive is all about luck, timing, curiosity and lots of good walks.

On the eve of the end of the bush era